You Will Not Get An Apology From Me
By Kia G.
I am sorry, well I guess I should say, I apologize is one of my most used statements. Whether intentional or not, I find myself saying it almost daily, if not more. I often say it when I feel I have hurt someone’s feelings or did not agree with their viewpoint. If I am completely honest, I find myself saying it in situations where I am apologizing for my feelings. Sounds crazy, right? Not, at all. I can’t speak for anyone else, but I have found that I care more about others feelings than my own. Always trying to ensure their feelings are not hurt, while bandaging my own.
"Always trying to ensure their feelings are not hurt, while bandaging my own."
I never realized how much I said it, until one day I was corrected about 5 times, for apologizing. I was not doing it because I kept hurting the person, but for the way they felt for hurting me. That is kind of backwards, you might say, but for me it has become my normal. You are hurt because you betrayed me, I say I apologize. I tell you how your lies broke me, but I find myself apologizing, in the end. You took my kindness for granted, but yet I apologize.
Yes, there is always a straw that breaks the camels back, and we say enough is enough. Well, I must say I certainly am no exception. I realized my feelings matter, just as much, if not more than someone else’s. At some point in our lives we have to stand up for what we believe and not feel the need to ask permission for having the belief. Is it wrong for me to want to walk into my house and feel it is my sanctuary? The place where I do not have to be a boss. The place where my insecurities can be revealed. The place that brings me joy and peace. I shouldn’t have to apologize to the grown kids that dirty the floor. I have given them a life, why should I apologize for the way I live mine?
"...we have to stand up for what we believe and not ask permission for having the belief"
Can you relate? Do you apologize for not being the person that they once knew? Do you apologize for not believing as they do? Do you apologize for wearing the hairstyle that they do not like or care to understand? If you are like me, I urge you to take a stand! No apologies given, when it is utterly unnecessary. Now, if you did something wrong, you should apologize. I am not saying you have a free pass to hurt others. I am truly talking about in instances where you are apologizing for just being you.
"No apologies given, when it is utterly unnecessary!"
In all situations, be true to you. If you are hurt, don’t apologize for your pain. If you are fed up with chaos, don’t apologize for insisting on change. If you cannot fulfill an obligation that they signed you up for, don’t apologize for what you had planned. You matter too. There should not be an apology required for you to continue to hold a valued place in their life. If you must continue apologizing, you may need to ask yourself what is the value of them being in yours? First, recognize who you are and know what you believe. Second, stop apologizing for your own feelings and beliefs. Lastly, live your art of living, and feel wonderful doing so!