Truth About Red Flags
By Kia G.
I am pretty sure when it all goes wrong, you have heard the saying, “There had to be some red flags.” We may have even been the one saying those words to a friend or have been on the receiving end of that statement. No matter what end you are on, the meaning is the same, you missed the signs. The ugly truth is, maybe you just turned your head and looked the other way.
"There had to be some red flags!"
Yes, we all know there are some flags that are red as soon as they are waved, but there are some that may have been a little white. These are the ones that sometimes go unseen. These may also be the ones you turn your head and look the other way. If you are like me, you may stick to the excuse it was a total different color, or didn’t think it was flag at all. Red flags just do not appear, most have always been there, we just have chosen to ignore them.
"There are some flags that are red as soon as they are waved!"
Truly, I do not think that we set out to ignore them, I believe it just happens. If we are honest with ourselves, why would we ignore a flag that may prevent us from being hurt? Nope, not at all. We do not ignore intentionally. Most times we ignore them because we are giving the person or situation, the benefit of the doubt. “They did not mean to hurt my feelings”. They did not mean any harm when they called me out of my name. They were not trying to betray me by putting a knife in my back. These are all things that we tend to say to protect the person causing us the pain.
I think I should be a referee, due to all the experience I have with flags. In most of my situations, I have let fear guide my decisions, instead of the truth. If I am being honest, the fear of being alone will make you look away from any colored flag that is thrown. How do we ensure that we do not end up with a bunch of flags in our lap? We first must be honest with ourselves. Why are we ignoring the flags? What are we afraid of? Being alone is not as bad as spending your life regretting being blinded by fear.
"I think I should be a referee, due to all the experience I have with flags"
Ignoring flags does more damage than good. It can end up being quite painful to all involved. It often feels like someone tackled you instead of pulling the flag. Just like any problem, there is a solution. One way to prevent it, is to discuss them when they are first thrown. If you do not call the first flag, do not make the mistake of ignoring the subsequent ones. You cannot wait until they are piled high and then try to quickly get to the bottom of it. If the relationship is worth it, deal with each flag, as they are thrown. This will a prevent a potential fumble, penalty, or loss of game. There can be no fear when dealing with the flags of life.