Petty-Envious: Friends Don't Let Friends Scroll and Compare
By Kia G.
Being honest and transparent can be difficult,especially when you are looking in the mirror. I had to confess to myself that my reasons for getting off social media was not really due to my job. It was not because I was a manager and didn’t want to explain my every life choice, the excuse I had memorized. I said it so much, I actually started to believe it as truth. My reason was because I sat and compared my daily life struggles to the highlight reel of others’ lives.
"...left feeling less than"
One example is a dear friend of mine, who shall remain nameless, although she has heard it, knows my struggle and why I am sharing. My friend is beautiful both inside and out. When she walks in a room, she commands it. I used to think it was because of her outside beauty and sense of style, but it was actually her flawless confidence she exuded in everything she did. She is happy to the core and it shows in her pictures, her life, and her relationships. Many look at her life and secretly want to be her; at least I did. If I was in a good and happy space, once I scrolled through IG, I was bound to be left feeling less than once I came across a day in her life.
"...it makes me...petty-envious"
Looking from the outside in, you wouldn’t think she had a struggle, a story or a testimony. You wouldn’t know about tears that she cried and how once upon a time it was her crying out to God why. Being her friend, I should have remembered those times, and cheered at the very fact that her pain has been replaced with such deep joy. I should’ve been yelling, “That’s my girl”, instead of secretly wishing it was me; asking why can’t I go there or have that. OMG!! Writing it makes me so vain and petty-envious… Yes, I made that word up! I had petty envy, defined by me as feeling jealous about the happy moments of others.
We, as women, must celebrate the successes of each other; no matter how big or small. We have to be able to scroll social media and say, “yes girl”, “do it girl”, “she did that”!
We have to use others to motivate us, not make our lives a mini version of theirs. If not, eventually, when you look in the mirror, you will not be able to recognize yourself. You will find that your total self will be the sum of your family, friends and foes you have stolen pieces from to make up the person you want others to see. You will see a puzzle that’s been put together instead of the beautiful woman of God you were destined to be.
Envy is a sin. If it is left unattended it will grow and take over, just like weeds in a beautiful green garden. We are all meant to shine, each having a different purpose and path. The path my friend traveled was not the same path I was given to take. We are unique in our presence and in our assignments. We are not to look left, right, or back. The time you spend scrolling in envy, put into finding out what makes you unique. I have been told the things you see in others are the very things others see in you…..