I Am Not That Strong
By Kia G.
The word strength, depending on how it is used, can mean two entirely separate things. In one way it could be seen as a great quality to have, but in another, seen as an overbearing assumption to wear.
Being single for quite some time, all I hear is how strong I am. Some strength is great to have, but some I would gladly share with the man that shall give me his last name. Since I have so much, I think I have some that I don’t need, or want for that matter.
I am very creative and love to paint a thing or two, but that does not mean I like tools?Handyman is a title I do not want and would never want on my business card. When someone sees me mowing the grass or cutting limbs, they immediately say, there is nothing you cannot do. Do they really think this is something I find joy in?
Now, I am not saying there aren’t women that find joy in this very thing. I just am not one of them, but applaud them for their green thumbs. They find peace in their gardens and I just hate the thought of pulling weeds. The gloves slip off and the bugs are annoying too.
"....I just hate the thought of pulling weeds."
The list of things I feel are despicable are the ones others rave on how much strength I show. Inside they don’t realize I am crying because I am not as strong as I appear. I get it done because I have to, but they are things I would praise my husband for. Being single makes you appreciate the man you will one day have.
I am strong in so many ways, but in others I do not want to be. I don’t want a yard I must keep landscaped or a garage door I must maintain. The sprinkler system is not where my degree is and something I find so much despair in. Walking me through it does not help, when all I want is my husband to figure it out. Being satisfied in my singleness does not mean I have strength in all things.
"Walking me through it does not help, when all I want is my husband to figure it out!"
When God answers my pray with the man of my dreams, I will forever show him appreciation for doing the things he has the strength in. The yard work, the handyman chores, and for making sure I never have to carry this load again. I will ensure he receives unconditional love, kindness, and above all else respect, because I am forever grateful for him being placed in my life.Until then, I am patiently waiting for God to send him my way. My tools are packed and mower put to the side because I refuse to gain one more ounce of strength in something I desire not to have.The next time you are getting ready to tell me how strong I am, please stop and maybe ask can you lend a hand.